Why I Created The Marketing Agency That No One Else Wanted

I made one of the scariest decisions ever a few months ago when I decided to just stop applying for jobs I was qualified for in digital marketing.

I had to be crazy.

I had no income and was becoming desperate, but with all the jobs I had applied for, none of them would make me the final chosen candidate. Desperate times, desperate measures. Something had to be done.


Insane, you say? Yep. I thought so too. 


But eventually, after over two years of applying for position after position in my area and getting rejected each time, I knew I had to face the reality that there was no other way for me to be successful in my field and make money at it. No one was going to help me. I was going to have to do it myself. I had invested the time and money that is required to get three college degrees, countless professional certifications, and tons of professional training and software only to get turned down again and again.

Doubts started entering my mind. Imposter syndrome. Maybe I wasn’t good enough?


I knew that couldn’t be true. 


I’ve had excellent training, have had great results at the jobs I have had in the field, and am respected all over the world (no, really!) as a knowledgeable voice in digital marketing because of my podcast. (Podcastyradio.es gave me this amazing podcast review right out of the blue. I wasn’t expecting it but it sure was nice!)


But all the degrees and the experience in the world didn’t help when I was usually up against the committee members’ close friends (or family) whose only qualifications were “pretty good with that computer stuff and has a Facebook page”. Plus, I already had more salt than pepper on my head from getting a late start on my career. Yes, the amount of salt on one’s head matters, even though it’s not supposed to.


I had no connections. I had salty hair. I had no chance. 

Stories from the Struggle

“You know you may have to lift heavy objects,” one interviewer said to me. “Are you sure you can do physical things like help put up a tent or a booth?” This was for the director’s position at my home county’s Chamber of Commerce Tourism Bureau. 


They don’t lift heavy things often as far as I can tell, but they do seem to repost material from other places a lot. I guess it saves them from the grueling task of getting a camera out and taking photographs of local places and telling people about them and whatnot. So those people can visit and spend money in our communities. You know. Tourism. 


“What do you do when things go wrong?” I didn’t understand the question. She repeated it.


“Like when things go wrong? What do you DO?”


“Um, I don’t know…I guess, find out why they went wrong and then try to prevent it happening again? I’m not sure if I’m answering your question correctly.”

“You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law?”



“My last name’s Murphy. That’s why I asked the question.”

From a community college north of here. I didn’t get the job.


“So, we are a Christian organization and we wanted someone who could get our message out and proselytize about what we do” was the comment from one of my prospective employers from a group of drug addiction recovery centers (one that, incidentally, takes government funds through Medicaid.)


This was right after he told me in my final interview that if they didn’t hire me “I promise it is…um…wouldn’t be because of your age” and was the first time I was aware of a religious requirement.

I’ve never wanted to have recorded a phone call so badly.

But It Turns Out I'm Not A Duck After All

The truth is, I’ve had a lot of outside forces working against me. There are more stories and snippets of stories. Tons more, I promise. I’ll share them with you sometime. I promise you’ll enjoy them more than I did when they were happening.


But I also have a lot going for me, too. Training, experience, respect outside of my immediate area, and plenty of ideas to play with and the software and equipment to do it. I’ve been fully prepared for a long time, but what I lacked was the confidence I needed.

That, and well, Covid. That had an impact too.

And other health challenges that have been gradually creeping in that convinced me more and more that the best thing for my physical, mental, and occupational health was to do what I’ve always wanted to do anyway and just make the jump.

Bottom line? I didn’t fit anywhere. Trying to pound these pegs into the misshapen holes provided was making my head hurt and only making me doubt myself trying to convince people who didn’t really know what they were doing themselves.

So I made my own space to serve the ones that do. I created Clickbeetle because no one wanted me, and now I have an opportunity to apply it all on my own terms for my own clients. Agency schmagency. 

I don’t pitch tents. (Stop laughing, Beavis). I don’t hold revival meetings. I don’t own a ping-pong table or drink beer on casual Fridays, and I don’t have a single person named Murphy on staff. (So far.)

But I’m proud of what I’m doing, even though it’s scary as hell to go it alone. It’s also pretty damn exciting.

It feels good to be a swan.